11 April 2010
Misfits I broke the fourth wall to care about
)Published on April 11th, 2010 @ 03:17:36 pm, using 1501 words, 761 views
Misfit: a person who is not suited or is unable to adjust to the circumstances of his or her particular situation.
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Fitting in is by no means a requirement. Quite the contrary. Fitting in is something we strive for while under the influence of uncertainty as to who we really are or who we should be or even as to what is expected of us. We are, each and every one, with no exception, constellations of minor and major flaws, of steps followed closely by contradictions, highs and lows, moments we’re eager to share and others we’re quick to hide under lock and key. Squeezing galaxies into the boundaries of a claustrophobic human frame is the impossible requirement that leads us to fold, tuck, conceal and mold an image as close to average as we can make it.
The appeal of average… of normal… lies in its false promise to keep us from ever feeling alone, from ever feeling incapable of identifying and being identified with.
It is, however, in concealment that we lose the edge of our individuality, along with the very things that would tip the scales toward uniqueness, the very details that would make us intriguing and worth regarding. In concealment, we replace them with those things that simplify us to the lowest common denominator. Making us common. And low.
I see the anger that arises from such struggle to merely seem, from shame, concealment, heartache, and my heart breaks its own fourth wall to go out to fictional characters who wouldn’t appeal to me in real life for the sole reason that I wouldn’t get to see them in real life. It’s nothing short of a treat to watch their uniqueness unfold and blossom privately but freely on my screen.
A nod to those unable to translate their inner selves into outer selves, those willing to spend considerable time on the intangible and unimportant (frequent flier miles, for one) those living according to the imagination (whether their own or someone else’s), those consumed by an inexplicable anger that lets them know not all is well, those who have at one point swerved abruptly and skid off the road, those who sit still awaiting further instructions, those willing to change their minds and ways. A nod to the likes of Amélie Poulain, Barry Egan, Jean Cabot, Charlie Kaufman, Jesse Wallace, Joel Barish, Judith Nelson, Ryan Bingham, Truman Burbank, Carol and anyone who shares their brand of solitude.
Privée du contact de les autres enfants, ballottée entre la fébrilité de sa mere et la distance glacial de son pére, Amélie n’a de refuge que dans le monde qu’elle invente.
(Le Fabuleux Destin d’Amélie Poulain)
I don’t know if there is anything wrong because I don’t know how other people are.
(Barry Egan - Punch-drunk love)
(on the phone) I sent her out for groceries and that was two hours ago, Carol. Well, you know what? You are one to talk. You go through like six housekeepers a year… I’m not snapping at you. I am angry. Yes. At them. Yes. At them, the police, at Rick, at Maria. At the drycleaners who destroyed another blouse today. At the gardener who keeps overwatering the lawn. I just thought that… Carol, I just thought that I would wake up today and I would feel better. You know? But I was still mad. And I realized… I realized that it had nothing to do with my car being stolen. I wake up like this every morning. I am angry all the time and I don’t know why, Carol. I don’t know why. And I… Yeah. Yeah, call me back.
(Jean Cabot - Crash)
Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head. Maybe if I were happier, my hair wouldn’t be falling out. Life is short. I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m a walking cliché. I really need to go to the doctor and have my leg checked. There’s something wrong. A bump. The dentist called again. I’m way overdue. If I stop putting things off, I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass. If my ass wasn’t fat I would be happier. I wouldn’t have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time. Like that’s fooling anyone. Fat ass. I should start jogging again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more, improve myself. What if I learned Russian or something? Or took up an instrument? I could speak Chinese. I’d be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that? Just be real. Confident. Isn’t that what women are attracted to? Men don’t have to be attractive. But that’s not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days. Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe it’s my brain chemistry. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that. But I’ll still be ugly though. Nothing’s gonna change that.
(Charlie Kaufman - Adaptation)
I remember thinking at the time, that… so many of the men that I admired most, you know, that their lives were… were dedicated to something greater than themselves (…) It’s more like I had this… this idea of my best self. You know? And I wanted to pursue that, even if might have been overriding my honest self. You know what I’m saying? I mean, it’s funny like… in the moment, I remember thinking that it didn’t much matter the “Who?” of it all… I mean, that nobody is gonna be everything to you… And that ultimately, it’s just a simple action of committing yourself, you know, meeting your responsibilities that… that matters. I mean, what is love, right? If not respect, trust, admiration? And I… I felt all those things!
(Jesse Wallace - Before Sunset)
If only I could meet someone new. I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished, seeing that I’m incapable of making eye contact with a woman I don’t know.
(Joel Barish - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)
I want to feel my life. I want to stop agreeing to things I don’t really want.
(Judith Nelson - Living out loud)
How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you’re carrying a backpack… I want you to feel the straps on your shoulders… You feel them? Now, i want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life. Start with the little things. The stuff you have in drawers and on shelves. The collectibles and knick-knacks. Feel the weight as it adds up. Now, start adding the larger stuff. Your clothes, table top appliances, lamps, linens, your TV. That backpack should be getting pretty heavy at this point. Go bigger. Your couch, your bed, your kitchen table. Stuff it all in… Your car, get it in there… Your home, whether you have a studio apartment or a two-story house, I want you to stuff it into that backpack. Now I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office… and then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers, your sisters, your children, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. You get them into that backpack, feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks.
(Ryan Bingham - Up in the air)
I’m a parenthesis?
(Ryan Bingham - Up in the air)
Was anything real?
(Truman Burbank - The Truman Show)
Will you keep out all the sadness?
(Carol - Where the wild things are)
This post is the creative work of Iris Watts Hirideyo and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
This post is the creative work of Iris Watts Hirideyo and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
Film, characters, misfits, Eternal, Sunshine, Punch-drunk, love, Crash, Amélie, Adaptation, Before, Sunset, Living out loud, Up in the air, wild, things, Truman, solitude, anger
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