14 June 2009
Alone
)Published on June 14th, 2009 @ 07:00:07 pm, using 323 words, 115 views
It arrives and departs as often as flights on a tarmac but with longer intervals. I’m living in one of those intervals - lying on my stomach just off that figurative runway, on the cool grass, knees bent, legs defiant of gravity and guided by choice, feet crossed and free, chin propped up by loose fists. Girlish and carefree. Waiting for the next landing to put me back in the moment that comes and goes. The feeling behind… inside… condensed within the moment that comes and goes. That feeling that is among the clouds one minute, touching the ground the next. That feeling that goes from hazy thought to hard fact, just like that and changes everything.
It used to be ‘I feel alone’ lurking gloomily inside that moment. And then it morphed into ‘I am alone in the world’ - the greater truth. It has stuffed my chest the way only potatoes or farofa chowed down greedily have managed to. It’s made breathing a struggle and thoughts ineluctable. And suddenly it became just a truth. A bearable truth. A quiet enough roommate. A palatable notion. A dream from which you wake or a life from which you doze off. A magic pair of glasses that bestow on you the super power of objective vision with which to view the trail left behind, that slideshow of memories that exacts a (tearful) price but hesitates to name a currency.
Most people seem to have an easier time putting the puzzle of their lives together, finding appropriate pieces for the appropriate holes and moving towards a recognizable image of some kind - be it a landscape or an abstract painting. I fall short of qualifying to join them. And especially short of succeeding in steering myself. I wait just off that figurative runway instead.
This post is the creative work of Iris Watts Hirideyo and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
Thoughts, alone, being, feeling, tarmac, gravity, waiting, moment, notion, objective, life, memories, puzzle
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